it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
