i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
