Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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