Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
