Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
