The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
