I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
