she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
