I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
