i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
