My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I believe in your delicious
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
