I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
