the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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