You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I could fuck to npr.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
