normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
