My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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