Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
