Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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