Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
