Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
