He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
