I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
