The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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