woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
