Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
And then he peed in my hair
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