I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
operation harelip BJ is a go
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
