I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
