she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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