People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
