K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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