I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
