dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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