i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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