R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I had to cum in my sink.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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