He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
