Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
if i can run in heels then i can drive
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
