I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize