Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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