non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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