I could make wine with my vomit
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He passed out mid-signature
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
