i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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