yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
