sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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