I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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