the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
