I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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