there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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