I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
