Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
