Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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